Screwed.edu
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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