Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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