you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
