Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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