guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
