So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had to cum in my sink.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
