trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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