he thought i was a dude.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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