I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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