I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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