His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
