Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
