i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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