my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
