Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
