i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
