yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
