So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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