Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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