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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
COCAINE IS GR8
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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