I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
