So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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