I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
