I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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