What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
