Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
