If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
