there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
