the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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