I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
