Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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