I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
