Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
