fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
