thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
