so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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