I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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