Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
