Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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