I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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