i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
