I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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