Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
