Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
