Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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