I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize