You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just want nice things and good sex
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
