HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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