I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
