I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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