Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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