CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
