I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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