how can u be prego again
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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