that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
