Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
