No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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