I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
