I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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