somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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