My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize